Assalamu'alaikum Wr. Wb.
Hello guys ... as usual, I'll write a blog to fulfill the subject of post-intermediate reading every
week. Alhamdulillah, this is the third blog that I have written. Last week I
wrote about the naming tradition in the Madurese. On the previous blog, it explained how the differences and
characteristics of names between men and women in Madura. Then, How about this
blog ? Sure, it will not be far from the previous discussion. On this blog, I
will write the results of my review of a book entitled "Men are from Mars,
Women are from Venus". From the 13 chapters, I was very interested in
discussing the 3rd chapter entitled Men Go to Their Caves and Women Talk. Then
what is the purpose of the chapter title ? To answer it, you have to read my
blog until it's over friends hehe ...
Judging from the title, it is imagined that this
chapter will discuss how men and women behave in dealing with a problem. Gray,
John (1992) express "One of the
biggest differences between men and women is how they cope with stress. Men
become more focused and withdrawn while women become overwhelmed and
emotionally involved. At these times, a man's needs for feeling good are
different from a woman's. He feels better by solving problems while she feels
better by talking about problems. Not understanding and accepting these creates
unnecessary friction in our relationships.”
From John's statement, Let’s look at a common example that often occurs in a relationship. as follows:
James and Janny are lovers who love each other. In
the early days of a relationship, they felt very happy because at that time the
conflicts of a relationship had not yet appeared and felt. But gradually, small
conflicts began to approach their relationship. These small conflicts usually
begin because trivial matters are exaggerated. For example, when James and
Janny had hard days until they finally felt stressed. Of course they will look
for ways to calm their minds. James will cope his stress by staying silent and
doing somethings that he thinks can help him forget all his problems such as
playing games, drinking coffee, watching ball on television, etc. It same as Janny,
when she is getting stress, she will try to tell the problem to her closest
people, such as family, friends and lovers. It is done by Janny not just to
find a solution but so that the interlocutor can also empathize with the
problem. So what she need at that time is only to be heard. So even though the
person who is listening does not provide any solution, she will feel much
calmer than before.
However, what would happen if James and Janny get
a stress at the same time? maybe they will feel uncomfortable with each other
if there is no sense of mutual understanding in their individual. Without
knowing that Janny really needs to talk about problems to feel better, James
will continue to think that Janny talked too much and resist listening to her. Without knowing that James was playing a game to feel better, Janny
would feel neglected and ignored and eventually she would persist in trying to
get him to talk when he didn’t want to.
That's all my review of Men Go to Their Caves
and Women Talk. Hopefully reading this blog can help men and women realize how
different they are and how to communicate their needs in such a way that
conflicts doesn’t arise and can continue to maintain their relationship as
healthy as possible.Amin. That’s all from me and see you on the next blog!!
Cheerio....
Wassalamu'alaikum Wr. Wb.
